Friday, March 30, 2012

Fitness Challenge Update: Easter Bunny Blamed For Weight Gain

[This article was first published as Easter Bunny Blamed For Weight Gain on Technorati.]

We all knew it was a matter of time before I fell off the weight loss bandwagon. Quite frankly I'm surprised I went as long as I did.
This is the first week I posted a weight gain –a half a pound. I realize it's not much of a gain, but a gain is still a gain. And I promised to be truthful in this fitness challenge reporting.
Am I happy about this latest turn of events? No siree, Missy, I am not.
I could make up excuses. I have plenty of them. Part of the blame falls squarely on those emergency chocolate batons I ate last week, or rather inhaled, from the stress of my job.
And yes, I have been under quite a bit of stress lately. So much so that I actually backed into my garage door on my way to work. (Did I mention the van was in the garage and the garage door was closed as I was backing out? Who knew all that glass shattering would make such a racket?) 
But I rather think the Easter bunny should shoulder some of this weight loss gain blame. It's those darn tootin' tasty Cadbury mini-chocolate Easter eggs that appear in drug stores everywhere about this time.
I think maybe three bags of those little guys have appeared in my pantry and disappeared in the past few weeks. For the weight loss challenge (or challenged), the Easter season seems to be a difficult time of year for losing weight with aisle upon aisle of Easter candy.
According to one website, just one solid chocolate bunny contains 890 calories which would equate to more than the caloric intake of two meals for me.
Another site has a cute little slide show illustrating how much Easter candy you can eat at 100 calories. Apparently, I can only eat six of those tasty little Cadbury mini-eggs for 96 calories.
Thus, the problem.
My problem.
At six mini-eggs, I'm barely just getting started.
Darn Easter bunny. If he drops off any more of those eggs, I think we'll be eating rabbit stew. Apparently there's only 159.1 calories in a cup of that.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Fitness Challenge Update: Diet Takes A Spring Break

[This article was first published as Diet Takes A Spring Break on Technorati.}
If being a yearbook adviser were a diet or an exercise program, I would be one Skinny Minnie.
Unfortunately, it is not.
While spring break is going full throttle even at destinations in Mexico deemed unsafe by the Texas Department of Public Safety, I find myself drowning in all things yearbook 24/7 because we must turn in all 272 pages now in order to have the yearbook back before the kiddos break for the summer.
Am I having fun over my spring break? No siree, Missy.  Unfortunately, my diet did.
So while spring breakers actually find themselves aligned with dead poets shouting,"Carpe Diem!" I find myself hunched over a computer and muttering phrases not fit for print.  When I should be beefing up my exercise programs because I am "off work," I am online submitting pages.
I've been so stressed with this yearbook thing that I ate my entire box of emergency chocolates that one of my BFFs gave me two weeks ago. ("I think you're going to need them," she foreshadowed.)  And that little box wasn't the cheap stuff either, but my most favorite chocolate–Hotel Chocolate. An entire little box of Caramel Chocolate Batons disappeared faster than you can shout, "I hate yearbook!"
Somehow I don't think that's what the helpful guy meant when he posted a comment a few weeks ago suggesting that I eat smaller and more frequent meals. Somehow I don't think eating a box of caramel chocolate batons fit into that little suggestion.
And yes, I know, I am pathetic.
Still, I did manage to lose a half a pound, but I don't think those caramel chocolate batons had a chance yet to settle on my hips.
I guess we'll find out next week.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Fitness Challenge Update: Those Without Sin Cast The First Chicken Wing

[This article was first published as Those Without Sin Cast The First Chicken Wing on Technorati."

I don't need a scientific survey to tell me that most people lie about how much they weigh. I do it all the time.
It's not because I don't know exactly how much I weigh. I do. It's just I don't really think it's anyone else's business which is why I only report the number of pounds lost for my "Frying-in-my-own-fat Weight Loss Challenge," never my actual weight. To get that little piece of information, my dears, you'll have to have top secret government clearance or send a squad of Navy SEALs or Army Rangers to force an accurate accounting.
So you can see why I don't understand the fuss over whether New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is lying about losing weight, or whether the First Lady deserves a pass for eating ribs or serving up fattening fair at a Super Bowl party.
In matters of weight and food, let those of you without sin cast the first chicken wing.
Those of us on this weight loss bandwagon work hard to try and eat healthy in our quest to shed our extra pounds, but we do falter in our struggle. I was reminded this weekend that we probably don't have to be so careful after reading a a news article coming out of Canada.  The article resurrects that Twinkie Diet from about a year ago which underscores that weight loss occurs when you use more calories than you take in no matter what you eat including vats of Twinkies. It also revisited that Imagine Diet.
The only thing I know for sure this week is that I really don't have any weight loss to report. I along with the needle on my scale seem to be stuck. (And, yes, I whacked it a few times. Still, a no go.)
And that, my dears, is no lie.