Carol Update: The Not So Chipper Me

My goodness I forgot to begin the last post with a "Your Mum's So Fat" joke in honor of the lack of Chubby Brits who failed to rise up to the occasion and participate in this little fitness challenge. So-o-o-o here are two of them (jokes that is, still no Chubby Brits)… Yo Mum's So Fat Joke #4…"They have to put speed bumps at the all you can eat buffet." Yo Mum's So Fat Joke #5… "She laid out on the beach and Greenpeace threw her into the ocean."

OK, so now that I am caught up, Here's a brief midweek update…

Monday…

• garage. semi-cold. kickboxing. (cat OK)
• went to Pilates Torture Time. Doomsday Becky postponed her trip by one day and did attend. Dora Who's Not The Explorer was out of town, and "A," who is Dora Who's Not The Explorer's daughter was not there either.

HOWEVER… (can I get one of those movie, suspenseful duh-duh-duhs and is that how you spell that?)

Two new people who were very, very, very very chipper  showed up, and they could do EVERYTHING without even one teensy groan or complaint. And, as if that wasn't bad enough, the Chippers could draw perfect circles and triangles with their legs. And, as if that isn't bad enough, let me just say that the words "lard" and "behind" never would appear in the same sentence as these two newcomers. Sadly, that is not the case in my case.


Still, I muddled through thinking not-so-happy thoughts.


Tuesday…

• Garage. Cold. Kickboxing. Pretty sure I now know all the words to the Black Eyed Peas song, "I Gotta A Feelin.'"
• Pretended all the Chippers of the world were on my punching bag.
• Doing fairly well with my standing Eagle pose.
• Tuesday night… yoga… Missy Chrissy Pretzel admitted that she was the one who told the Chippers about Pilates Torture Time class. Spent the entire class working on what Missy Chrissy Pretzel says is "letting go of all those hidden areas of stress." 
• So I tried to work on my Chipper issues.
• Worked on the Eagle Pose too, but I kept falling over.

I don't know why I can do the Eagle Pose better in my garage than in class. I keep falling over in class. 

As best as I can figure, that building must have some sort of foundation problems and the floor tilts.

BMI, Floating Fatso & Goals

Ok, so I bopped into the nurse's office for my little official  weigh in, BMI check, and quite frankly, was aghast.

Let‘s just put it this way. If I were on the Titanic when it sank, well, my dears, I would still be floating. Forget the Unsinkable Molly Brown. How about the Forever Floating Fatso? OK, so I have berated myself long enough.

Here’s my recap for the last week… Went to Yoga on Tuesday & Thursday. Did the 5:30 a.m. frosty kickboxing garage workout thing on Wednesday and Friday. Scooped some poop at the animal shelter this morning (figure that’s got to count for some calorie burning).

Managed to NOT eat any emergency chocolate even though Friday was a particularly challenging day at work.

Now, Joel wanted for me to list some goals. Sheesh! He’s such a band director, ordering this, organizing that, blah, blah, blah. But I’ll humor him. Drum roll pah-leese…

My Two Goals…

Goal No. 1…Lose 30 pounds by the end of May
Goal No. 2…Be able to do the Garuda-asana - The Eagle Pose by the end of May.

Now, before you start tsk, tsk tsking about that second one, let me assure you that since I  fall over every time I attempt that pose, I will probably achieve Goal No. 1 before that Eagle thing ever happens.

Of course, I was just a smidge timid about putting Goal No. 2 down because if my yoga instructor reads this, she will decide it's her mission in life for me to achieve this goal. I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of time falling over.