The "Ninja-No-Nonsense-Don't-Pass-the-Wedding Cake" weight loss challenge

Well this blog really was quite the epic fail since it's been almost four years since I've written anything.

Jeepers creepers! An awful lot has happened since then… And weight loss wise, let's just underscore the awful part. There's been some losing weight, and then gaining weight, and then losing and then gaining and then… well you get the drift.

Of my three blogs, this one (like my self of steam) suffers the most. It barely has any followers and not many page views. So why kick start it back up?  Well, Missy, it's quite simple: I have a wedding coming up. No, not mine, silly. One of my daughters is getting married, and well, I'd like to be thinner.

A lot thinner.

A lot less Rubenesque.

Svelte.

I'm not really sure sure how I'm going to accomplish all this except I know it has to involve more exercise, less food, probably less chocolate and more than a dash of determination.

And apparently, I'm going to do it ninja style because whatever readers I once had have fallen by the wayside. Oddly enough, I take some comfort in the anonymity, and yet, I still feel some accountability. Go figure.

Four years ago, I was in the midst of my "Frying-in-my-own-fat" weight loss challenge. Ya gotta love a clever title.

So just in case someone is out there, welcome to my "Ninja-No-Nonsense-Don't-Pass-the-Wedding Cake" weight loss challenge. Whew! That's a mouthful. I guess we could just call it the "Ninja Diet" for short.

Let the games begin, and the may the odds ever be in my favor… 

Weight Loss Challenge Nears Goal If Sleep Doesn't Interfere

[This article was first published as Weight Loss Challenge Nears Goal If Sleep Doesn't Interfere on Technorati.]

Since my last fitness challenge update was put in another spot on technorati, some of you may have thought I had given up and jumped onto the bandwagon instead of walking beside it.

Fear not. I'm still at it although weight loss has slowed to a snail's pace with just under a half a pound duly recorded this week. The good news is that I am just 1.5 pounds shy of my original weight loss goal since I started my "Frying-in-my own-fat" Weight Loss Challenge on Aug. 15. Even better news is that I think I'm going to try and lose an additional 5 pounds after I knock off that last 1.5 pounds.

Of course that means I'm going to have to pump it up a notch and be more vigilant. Sadly, Howard the Shelter cat is not helping at all with this endeavor preferring to steal and play with the tape measure, and more or less scoffing at my weight loss attempts.

Despite searching for new articles for weight loss inspiration this week, I find only the same old stuff being rewritten, restudied and regurgitated. According to  recent article, a supposedly "new" study shows a connection between interrupted and lack of sleep to obesity. Both are problems for me, and both ideas we've covered before here.

Apparently an irregular, restricted sleep schedule continued over a year period can amount to more than a 12 pound weight gain.

One of the articles quotes Orfeu Buxton, an assistant professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School who headed the research, as saying, “Getting adequate sleep is what we’re calling one of the three pillars of health: sleep, diet, and exercise go well together, and they interact. If you don’t get enough sleep, it’s hard to get enough exercise. If you’re not getting enough sleep, people eat more food. That causes them to gain weight and make inappropriate food choices — sugary treats and snacks.”

Another "new study" from the American Journal of Preventative Medicine tells us that the secret to weight loss is not through fad diets. According to the article, the secret to weight loss is  "a combination of more exercise, eating less fatty foods and joining a weight loss program. What doesn't work? Popular fad diets, liquid diets, and weight loss pills."

Ya, think?

I think Howard the Shelter cat could have arrived at that result. Apparently, though, those brides-to-be aren't heeding any of the logical weight loss advice with the latest Bridal Hunger Games thing. Instead, they are spending hundreds, and in some cases, thousands of dollars, and using feeding tubes, 800 calorie diets, shots, cleansing juices and such.

Don't these people think someone is going to notice when they mushroom back out to their pre-hunger game size?

I'm not saying that I am completely above this  smoke-and-mirrors approach to weight loss. I'm just waiting for the right one. If anyone ever finds a way to carry around a permanent PhotoShop filter, well then, count me in.

In the meantime, I've got my green tea, 100 calorie packet of dark chocolate almonds and exercise to see me through to my goal.

Fitness Challenge Update: Call Me the Tiger Mom of Nothing

[This article was first published as Call Me the Tiger Mom of Nothing on Technorati.]

Jeepers creepers, I'm not sure how a 7 year old can have weight issues. And, I'm not quite sure how such a thing can get parlayed into a fat little book contract either.

I'm a nice person, and I'm still waiting for a fat little book contract with a major publisher for my book.

Maybe that's my problem.

I'm probably too nice. Maybe.

And perhaps a tad bit too funny. Probably.

And most definitely, I'm not really a "Tiger Mom" of anything,m so I'm probably going to be sitting on my fat behind for quite some time…waiting and waiting and waiting. Just call me Tiger Mom of Nothing.

Apparently you have to be over the top or over the edge or out there on the stratosphere to get noticed anymore.

By now most of you have heard the story of Dara-Lynn Weiss, the New York mom, who put her daughter on a diet and then wrote about it in Vogue magazine. 

Diet doctors were aghast. Others defended her. The end result showed a 16 pound weight loss for the 7 year old over the course of a year and a fat book contract gain for mom.

Now wait just a darn tootin' minute, Missy. I'm down another pound this week.  I've lost 18 pounds since I started my "Frying-In-My-Own-Fat" Weight Loss Challenge. What about me?

But I'm not 7 years old.

I don't have a Tiger Mom.

And I'm pretty sure Vogue doesn't give a rat's behind about me.

After all, I'm just me working on being a little less of me.

Fitness Challenge Update: Easter Bunny Blamed For Weight Gain

[This article was first published as Easter Bunny Blamed For Weight Gain on Technorati.]

We all knew it was a matter of time before I fell off the weight loss bandwagon. Quite frankly I'm surprised I went as long as I did.

This is the first week I posted a weight gain –a half a pound. I realize it's not much of a gain, but a gain is still a gain. And I promised to be truthful in this fitness challenge reporting.

Am I happy about this latest turn of events? No siree, Missy, I am not.

I could make up excuses. I have plenty of them. Part of the blame falls squarely on those emergency chocolate batons I ate last week, or rather inhaled, from the stress of my job.

And yes, I have been under quite a bit of stress lately. So much so that I actually backed into my garage door on my way to work. (Did I mention the van was in the garage and the garage door was closed as I was backing out? Who knew all that glass shattering would make such a racket?) 

But I rather think the Easter bunny should shoulder some of this weight loss gain blame. It's those darn tootin' tasty Cadbury mini-chocolate Easter eggs that appear in drug stores everywhere about this time.

I think maybe three bags of those little guys have appeared in my pantry and disappeared in the past few weeks. For the weight loss challenge (or challenged), the Easter season seems to be a difficult time of year for losing weight with aisle upon aisle of Easter candy.

According to one website, just one solid chocolate bunny contains 890 calories which would equate to more than the caloric intake of two meals for me.

Another site has a cute little slide show illustrating how much Easter candy you can eat at 100 calories. Apparently, I can only eat six of those tasty little Cadbury mini-eggs for 96 calories.

Thus, the problem.

My problem.

At six mini-eggs, I'm barely just getting started.

Darn Easter bunny. If he drops off any more of those eggs, I think we'll be eating rabbit stew. Apparently there's only 159.1 calories in a cup of that.

Fitness Challenge Update: Diet Takes A Spring Break

[This article was first published as Diet Takes A Spring Break on Technorati.}

 

If being a yearbook adviser were a diet or an exercise program, I would be one Skinny Minnie.

Unfortunately, it is not.

While spring break is going full throttle even at destinations in Mexico deemed unsafe by the Texas Department of Public Safety, I find myself drowning in all things yearbook 24/7 because we must turn in all 272 pages now in order to have the yearbook back before the kiddos break for the summer.

Am I having fun over my spring break? No siree, Missy.  Unfortunately, my diet did.

So while spring breakers actually find themselves aligned with dead poets shouting,"Carpe Diem!" I find myself hunched over a computer and muttering phrases not fit for print.  When I should be beefing up my exercise programs because I am "off work," I am online submitting pages.

I've been so stressed with this yearbook thing that I ate my entire box of emergency chocolates that one of my BFFs gave me two weeks ago. ("I think you're going to need them," she foreshadowed.)  And that little box wasn't the cheap stuff either, but my most favorite chocolate–Hotel Chocolate. An entire little box of Caramel Chocolate Batons disappeared faster than you can shout, "I hate yearbook!"

Somehow I don't think that's what the helpful guy meant when he posted a comment a few weeks ago suggesting that I eat smaller and more frequent meals. Somehow I don't think eating a box of caramel chocolate batons fit into that little suggestion.

And yes, I know, I am pathetic.

Still, I did manage to lose a half a pound, but I don't think those caramel chocolate batons had a chance yet to settle on my hips.

I guess we'll find out next week.

Fitness Challenge Update: Those Without Sin Cast The First Chicken Wing

[This article was first published as Those Without Sin Cast The First Chicken Wing on Technorati."

I don't need a scientific survey to tell me that most people lie about how much they weigh. I do it all the time.

It's not because I don't know exactly how much I weigh. I do. It's just I don't really think it's anyone else's business which is why I only report the number of pounds lost for my "Frying-in-my-own-fat Weight Loss Challenge," never my actual weight. To get that little piece of information, my dears, you'll have to have top secret government clearance or send a squad of Navy SEALs or Army Rangers to force an accurate accounting.

So you can see why I don't understand the fuss over whether New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is lying about losing weight, or whether the First Lady deserves a pass for eating ribs or serving up fattening fair at a Super Bowl party.

In matters of weight and food, let those of you without sin cast the first chicken wing.

Those of us on this weight loss bandwagon work hard to try and eat healthy in our quest to shed our extra pounds, but we do falter in our struggle. I was reminded this weekend that we probably don't have to be so careful after reading a a news article coming out of Canada.  The article resurrects that Twinkie Diet from about a year ago which underscores that weight loss occurs when you use more calories than you take in no matter what you eat including vats of Twinkies. It also revisited that Imagine Diet.

The only thing I know for sure this week is that I really don't have any weight loss to report. I along with the needle on my scale seem to be stuck. (And, yes, I whacked it a few times. Still, a no go.)

And that, my dears, is no lie.

New diet pill promises 10% weight loss

[This article first published as New Diet Pill Promises 10 Percent Weight Loss on Technorati.]

According to a recent article, there's a new diet pill on the horizon--the first to receive tentative approval in more than a decade--that promises a 10 percent weight loss.

Still, there is concern about the drug's side effects. Apparently, the problem is not in creating weight loss drugs, but in creating weight loss drugs without side effects.

According to another news story, the "biggest problem in creating a weight-loss drug is that there appears to be no safe way to turn off one of the human body's most fundamental functions."

Tell me about it. They're talking about that thing that makes our bodies store fat the nano-second we cut back on food. You know, that thing that screams, "I'm starving! Save the fat, save the fat, save the fat!"

Yeah, that thing. Oh, how I hate that thing.

I sure wish losing weight were as simple as popping a pill, but there ain't no easy road to weight loss. No siree, Missy. I struggled like the rest of the fatsos this week increasing my workout intensity and watching my food intake, but not so much as to make that thing scream, "Save the fat, save the fat, save the fat!"

Apparently, I successfully outsmarted that darn tootin' thing as I am proud to report that my scale showed me 1.6 pounds lighter this week.

I suppose if losing weight were easy, 35 percent of the population wouldn't be fat, and we all would be running around looking like Heidi Klum or Brad Pitt.

If only.

Maybe one day someone will find a magic pill that will easily transform us back to that better, smaller version of ourselves. In the meantime, can't you just hear the Project Runway host saying, "One minute your thin and the next minute your fat!"

Thanks, Heidi.

In Search of Team Skinny

[This article was first published as In Search of Team Skinny on Technorati.]

Usually I am not fond of the word "contagious," but according to a new study, losing weight can be contagious.

"This is the first study to show that in these team-based campaigns, who's on your team really matters," lead author Tricia Leahey, Ph.D., of The Miriam Hospital and Alpert Medical School said in news reports. "Being surrounded by others with similar health goals all working to achieve the same thing may have really helped people with their weight loss efforts."

Apparently, weight loss outcomes "were clearly determined by which team an individual was on." 

Clearly, I need to sign up with Team Skinny because this week I was on Team Failure.

Despite my high hopes from the previous weeks, this week found me eating left over Valentine's Day chocolate… and brownies… and extra servings of this and that.

I even went to the movies (a rare treat for me) and got some of that movie popcorn… yep, with the butter… and the salt… and, oh yeah, a hefty portion of guilt. And if my little Fitness Pal calorie counter is correct, I just discovered that small bag of movie popcorn contained 420 calories which is more than I eat for lunch.

So because I'm on Team Failure, I opted not to weigh myself for this update. I figured it would just depress me and send me further into my Emergency Chocolate drawer.

Instead, I've decided to start anew this week with a better resolve and attitude… and if you find Team Skinny, tell them I'm ready for a change.

Fitness Challenge Update: Losing Weight the American Way

[This article was  first published as Continuing Weight Loss the American Way on Technorati.]

Last week found me taking care of some stuff in Colorado, so I opted to give myself a pass for losing weight as long as I didn’t gain any weight.

Still, I managed to lose about a half pound and gain a new found admiration for people who travel all the time. The traveling road is brutal and fraught with too much sugar, fat and salt.  

While I sat in my aisle seat waiting for take off, I was once again reminded the importance of sticking with this frying in your own fat weight loss challenge. A rather hefty woman made her way to the back of the plan with a seat belt extension in hand. I don’t want to ever become one of those people who make the news because they get booted off a plane for being too fat or made to pay for another ticket because they can’t squish their behinds into their assigned seat. No siree, Missy.

Things like that mortify me and make me pray--a prayer of thanks that I never reached that size. A prayer of thanks for God’s blessings and strength to keep this weight loss challenge thing going. A prayer for the hefty woman and whatever baggage she hauls around her.

Traveling also gave me a chance to reflect. Here are a few things I learned on this trip:
#1… Gaining A New Perspective…I flew American Airlines and despite its bankruptcy woes,  everyone with American was very, very pleasant. Not a sour, dour person even when faced with some really, really stupid passengers.
You’re probably wondering what all of that has to do with this weight loss challenge. Well, when I start feeling grumpy (which I do from time to time with this dieting thing), I think of others who are having tougher times than me like those American Airline folks. While I'm worrying about what food to put on the table, they're worrying about how to put food on the table. See what I mean?

#2…Finding Healthy…Although I miss the little snacks we use to get for free on flights (pretzels, nuts, blah, blah, blah) such things aren’t good for my weight loss thing and certainly not good for the seatbelt extender in the back of the plane. I don’t even drink the free sodas on airplanes. (Sodas are bad, remember?) Instead, I drank my overpriced $3.50 Fiji water. For a snack, I even managed to purchase a 130 calorie healthy snack at the airport (some hummus and cucumber slices.) Of course, I had to look past all the fattening stuff, but it can be done, and for once, I finally did it.

#3… Missing Fitness Routines… Being gone made me miss my exercise/yoga regiment. I really did miss it. For the first time, I realized I don't have to talk myself into going anymore. I just don't need to go; I want to go.
So maybe some more pounds will want to go, too, and take a little trip far, far away from my behind.

Seat belt extender? No danger here.

Challenge Update: Start Looking For A Sugar Daddy

[This article was first published as Start Looking For A Sugar Daddy on Technorati.]

Sometimes I think it's just best to ignore some of the stuff that seeps out of California especially San Francisco.

This is probably one of those times, but the buzz coming from over there about this sugar business (The Toxic Truth About Sugar) made more noise across the globe than a roomful of 6 year olds on a sugar rush after a Halloween party.

From the UK to France to Canada to Pakistan, news reports talked about the recommendation by three California researchers that sugar should be regulated. The three advocate controlling sugar sales to anyone under 17 years old and taxing the rest of us for our sugar habit.

If the sugar police had their way, having a Sugar Daddy would take on an entirely new meaning.

Understandably the Sugar Association found this latest report "non-scientific and irresponsible. Others just called the report "idiotic."

If I completely gave up sugar, I'd probably shed my extra poundage pretty speedy quick for my "Frying In My Own Fat" Weight Loss Challenge, but that will never happen. No siree, Missy.

Why? Because I enjoy sugar. I must have milk and sugar in my morning coffee. So that probably makes me a sugar addict and a diary addict and, oh yeah, a coffee addict…and a…

"Hi, my name is Carol and I'm addicted to sugar and milk and coffee… and chocolate and food… and …"

Jeepers creepers, my list is endless… Still, despite my apparent sugar addiction, I'm down almost another pound this week.

Like I said, we probably should just ignore most of that stuff that seeps across the border from California. I do have one thing left to say, though:

I'll give up my sugar packets when you can pry them from my cold, dead fingers.

Week 17--Treat Your Holiday Calories Like Your Credit Card

[This article was first published as Treat Holiday Calories Like Your Credit Card on Technorati.]

Not only did I manage to wear my "skinny" jeans again this week proving to the naysayers that it wasn't all some fluke, I also managed to shed another pound this week.

And that, my dears, was no small feat since during my ornament exchange with two of my BFFs, I left with not just some cute ornaments but a wide array of chocolate. And not just any chocolate, no siree, Missy, but my favorite chocolate from Hotel Chocolate. If I could check into the Hotel Chocolate, I don't know that I would ever come back out again.


Now my other BFF, Jennifer, fancies herself a Godiva girl. She has one of those frequent buyer cards. The Godiva people always ask me if I want to join and get my own card, so I can get my free piece of chocolate for those times my friend opts not to share with me.

Really? If I signed up, I might as well just roll a cot into their store. I don't think I would ever leave. 

It's that self-control thing I constantly wrestle with.

I also learned this week that I am not alone in my stinkin' thinkin' about chocolate. You see, anytime I have Hotel Chocolate in my pantry, I start trying to ration it out, but then I rationalize that I'm going to eat it all anyway so does it really matter if I divide up the calories throughout the week or just inhale all gazillion calories at one time and get it over with. Hmmmmm?

I learned  my yoga pal, Becky, thinks the same way (and I thought I was alone).
But sadly, apparently it does matter. According to Judith J. Wurtman, we need to approach the holidays, "Like putting charges on your credit card, you can decide that you are able to 'afford' the calories at the party, feast or open house, or you can choose to stop eating because you have already consumed more than your caloric limit. But don't fool yourself that if you decide not to notice how much you are eating and drinking, your scale won't notice either."

I'm pretty sure eating all that chocolate at once puts me over my measly caloric limit just like I'm fairly certain shopping at Neiman Marcus or Barneys will max out my credit card.
Another website provided a bit more hope for those in the gorging camp. Although most health folks claim we gain anywhere between three and seven pounds over the holidays, one site says it's more like one pound. One. As in Uno. Kind of like the one pound I lost.

But I'm thinking they don't have a pantry with a wide assortment of Hotel Chocolate or a Godiva frequent buyer card or my yoga pal's big bag of M&Ms.

I think the pound I lost would be found along with quite a few of his friends.

Week 16–Taking a Breather in Skinny Jeans

[This article was first published as Week 16–Taking a Breather in Skinny Jeans on Technorati.]

Bet some of you thought I abandoned this weight loss challenge with the holidays here.

No siree, Missy. I'm here for the long haul.

I did step on the scale and noticed no weight loss. I was prepared for that little bit of disappointment, though, because I wasn't exactly good this week. Still, I wasn't horribly bad either. Stuff like chocolate, a smidge of pie and some other assorted things sort of put me on Santa's bad dieter list.

I did have a monumental break-through. I (like most women) have "fat" clothes, "regular" clothes and "clothes I'll wear when I lose weight" or "skinny" clothes. In fact, tucked away in the back of the bottom drawer of my dresser was a shopping bag with a pair of blue jeans I purchased in March of 2009.  The bag still contained the receipt and the blue jeans still had the tags on them.

Those blue jeans never fit me. I bought them at an outlet store without trying them on because I purchased the same pair there a few months before and loved them. Silly me, I assumed they would fit exactly the same, but apparently there's quite a variation in sizing. I couldn't even zip up this pair, but since I couldn't return them, every few months when I was feeling hopeful,  I would open up the bag, take them out and try them on.

It became my regular shot of disappointment. I should have just tacked a wide load sign on my backside. 

But lately I've noticed my clothes are fitting rather looser, so I peaked into that bag again, took the blue jeans out and tried them on.

This time I zipped them up.

And, more importantly, I could even breathe.

Week 13 Update: When Your Fat Fanny Becomes A National Security Issue

[This article was first published as Week 13–When Your Fat Fanny Becomes A National Security Issue on Technorati.]

I started up yoga again after a two and half week exercise hiatus caused by my sprained ankle.

Make no mistake though, the pain remains fairly unabated. I just figured I could exercise and have pain, or I could lounge on the couch and have pain.

I can't tell you how much I would have preferred the latter, but since I was having to adjust my food intake to compensate for my lack of mobility, my food options were resembling my shoe options--slim to none.

 So I opted to go back to yoga instead. As long as I stayed clear of those one legged poses and stuff like that dancer pose, I was fine. (OK, so maybe I never could do those twisty things, but at least I have an excuse now.)

Speaking of excuses,  I saw where  Congress decided to push a less than nutritional school lunch fare safeguarding pizza and french fries and allowing two tablespoons of tomato paste to continue to count as a vegetable.

Even some retired generals and admirals from a group called Mission: Readiness have weighed in, calling the lack of nutrition in school lunches a national security issue. Apparently one in four kids are  too fat to join the military.

“This is a tragedy for the country,” said retired four-star Air Force General Richard E. Hawley, who is a member of Mission: Readiness. “We are taking a step backward apparently in response to pressure from groups who see it in their interest to serve junk food in our schools.”

Hawley said America’s obesity epidemic is a threat to national security.

It's a good thing my age disqualifies me for military service. Otherwise, my fat fanny could be a national security issue, too. Because despite being another 1.4 pounds lighter this week, I'm still too fat for military service.

Slowly, but surely though, my weight is coming off, but I'm not eating pizza and french fries or counting tomato paste as a vegetable either.

Pounds, Panera & the Godfather-- Week 10: Small weight loss bolstered by other breakthroughs

[This article was first published as Week 10–Small weight loss bolstered by other breakthroughs on Technorati.]

Now don't get all in a dither, but this week's weight loss was pretty paltry--only a half a pound.
A lesser person probably would have been epically discouraged, and I probably would have except I believe I've made some rather monumental breakthroughs–and not the kind involving clothing seams either.

For the first time in a very, very long time I went out for lunch and didn't eat everything on my plate. OK, so I ate my little piece of whole grain baguette (all 140 calories) that came with my Panera Pick Two order. But the rest--the salad and soup--I didn't. I just ate until I was full.
Confession time: I did purchase a very scrumptious looking 99 cent bakery item–The Double Fudge Brownie with Icing, though. (Now about this time a bunch of you skinny minnies are probably slapping yourselves upside your little tee tiny heads.)
But wait… I brought the treat home, checked on line  and discovered that tasty brownie weighed in at 470 calories, containing about as much as my lunch. So, instead of eating the entire thing, I cut off a small piece and saved the rest for my husband.
Now I realize all of that isn't the stuff that makes fodder for such shows as the Biggest Loser, but let's face it, Anna Kournikova, Dolvett Quince or Bob Harper aren't going to come knocking at my door to give me a thumbs up or yell encouragement as I battle myself in my own  weight loss challenge. I'm on my own here.
I knew it was going to be slow going especially since I am old(er). I read with interest an article entitled, "You can be a big 'Loser' at any age--here's how." Do we really need anyone to tell us the 50-plus blue team is at a disadvantage?
According to this article, those of us in our 40s and 50s need to load up on some omega-3 fatty acids for their "anti-inflammatory benefits" and "help with depression."
I don't think I need Bob Harper to tell me that my 99 cent double fudge brownie with icing doesn't contain any of those nifty omega-3 fatty acids.
And I'm fairly certain we probably need those nifty omega-3 fatty acids to  "help with the depression" which surely will ensue from either (1) not being able to eat that brownie or (2) the overwhelming guilt from eating that brownie.
I really don't know why I bother reading these fitness/weight loss articles. One of the suggestions was to reduce our calorie intake by 100 calories a day. OK, so that's reasonable.
But then there was this little suggestion: "If your family is having spaghetti and meatballs, have meatballs and spinach instead."
Spinach? Really?
All I could think of was how different Marlon Brando would have looked in the "Godfather" eating meatballs and spinach. And somehow that famous line wouldn't be so famous, if Clemenza had said, "Leave the gun and take the spinach."
I think the mere suggestion would have been enough for the Corleone family to go to the mattresses.

Week 9 of the "Frying In My Own Fat" Weight Loss Challenge: Experts Appear Surprised by Weight Research

[This article was first published as Week 9: Experts Appear Surprised by Weight Research on Technorati.]

I don't know why researchers and health experts always seem so surprised when they "discover" this or that in their recent surveys about fatty this or skinny that. The latest surprise discovery was that three in 10 overweight or obese people don't view their weight as a health issue.

Maybe that's because some of those other studies showed that a lot of overweight people really don't view themselves as fat.

Then there was that sleep thing they connected to weight loss. Blah, blah, blah. Sure there are some scientific factors that weigh in here, but on a basic level, you don't need to be a rocket scientist or commission a study to figure out the more you are awake, the more time you have to eat.

If I were a gamblin' woman, I would wager that these experts' facial expressions must be something akin to a permanent rendition of Macaulay Culkin's "Home Alone" face.

Now, that's a face I can related to.  I feel that way every single time I step on that scale and those numbers refuse to move downward. 

This weight loss challenge has been quite a challenge lately.

Daunting actually.

I don't quite understand why it's so easy to put these extra pounds on, but so difficult to take them off. I found a recent article that provided a laundry list of stuff that can sabotage weight loss. The list was mainly a collection of common sense things.

Then, of course, another article discussed how mindless eating can cause weight gain, too.

Gee whillikers, another shocker there.

I'll tell you what sabotages weight loss… F-O-O-D.

Let's all practice our "Home Alone" face as we step onto the scale for Week 9 of the "I'm-Frying-In-My-Own-Fat" Weight Loss Challenge.


Can I have a thunder thigh roll, pah-leese?

Just as I suspected. Weight loss for this week:  one measly pound.

No shocker there.

[This article was first published as Week 8 Frying In My Own Fat Weight Loss Challenge: Trying to Weigh In As Normal on Technorati.]



According to a recent survey, 36.6 percent of Americans weigh in at a normal weight.

That's up in a good way--about 1 percent from a year ago.

But slow down, Missy, I don't think it's time to break out the milkshakes or Ben & Jerry's ice cream yet. These figures were based on telephone interviews, not actual weigh ins.

According to the article, the data was based on self-reported info of height and weight to determine a score of body mass index. So tell me, just how many people actually have their real weight on their driver's license? Hmmmm? Just wondering.

That also means that even though about a third of Americans are of "normal" weight, everyone else is either overweight or obese. Which also makes me wonder if two-thirds of the population are fatty-fatty-two-by-fours, perhaps that "normal" category is all relative. Sometimes I look fairly "normal" on certain days standing next to certain people in the grocery line if you know what I mean.

The pollsters aren't exactly sure what caused that 1 percent drop. Perhaps, we are finally beginning to get it and doing something about being fat.

I know I am slowly moving in that direction. Week 8 of my "Frying In My Own Fat" Weight Loss Challenge finds me almost another pound lighter, bringing my grand total loss eight pounds closer to normal.

Why I hate the French––Week 2: Frying in My Own Fat Weight Loss Challenge

[This article was first published as Frying in My Own Fat Week Two: Why I hate the French on Technorati.]

After my dinner out Friday night, you might as well make me the poster child for the big fat diet failure.  
 

Apparently, though, I'm not the only failure. According to a recent study and news reports, obesity is fast replacing tobacco "as the single most important preventable cause of chronic non-communicable diseases."

I'm not quite sure why everyone else keeps failing, but I'm blaming the French because my failure can be summed up in two little French words– Creme Brulee.

For those of you who didn't take high school or college French, Creme Brulee  roughly translates as "Fatty Fatty Two-by-Four." This dessert alone can single handedly be a diet saboteur, and even that word is French in its origins.

Need I say more about why I am no longer fond of the French?

So now I can only say that, according to the scale I keep hidden in my closet, I have only lost a grand total of two pounds since we got this party started two weeks ago. 

Before the creme brulee debacle, I was down another pound by midweek and hoping to whack off another 16 ounces by my weekly Monday weigh in, so I could report a two pound loss for the week. But according to my cyber fitness pal, if all my days were like my day Friday, I'd gain 10 pounds in five weeks and look like that lady at the restaurant spilling out of her zebra print dress.

OK, OK, OK so maybe my cyber pal didn't give me that visual.

You might as well poke my eye out with a stick of salted butter.

Except I'd probably eat it–all 810 calories.

Joel: Take a Load Off

Yes I'm alive. No I haven't lost much weight.

I've come to realize that exercise by itself will not impact weight loss. It helps me to think more about changing my eating habits, and it definitely makes me feel tons better. But it doesn't shed the tons by itself.

Here's an example of why not:

This morning I went out and walked/ran for about 30 minutes. RunKeeper Pro (my new favorite iPhone App) told me that I only burned 232 calories. Do you realize how little food is contained in 232 calories? I think I have more than 232 calories in the crumbs in my truck!!!

So unfortunately, it looks like the ice cream and cookies are really gonna have to go. :(

On a less demotivational note, I now know that it will be pretty simple to make it happen. It's just a matter of working up the courage to do it. But if I could find the strength to get off my couch and do something, I bet I can find it in myself to stop eating fried crap and lovely desserts.

Increasing The Pace // Losing The Weight

So I have now run for 30 minutes nonstop a handful of times. It's great to be able to do it. The personal fulfillment and sense of accomplishment about that is incredible.

Okay, it's not really running. It might loosely be defined as jogging, but more truthfully, it's a brisk shuffle. But no worries. All year long so far, I have been focusing primarily on just getting off my butt and going out to work out.

The habit is established. It's amazing. I never thought it would happen, but it happened.

The temptation is just to sit back down on my butt and stay where I am. Eventually, this will lead to better overall health and all that jazz, but I don't want to just stay where I am. Part of why I never went out to run in the first place was because I am competitive by nature. I don't like losing. I felt like trying to run would be an entirely losing proposition. So I just didn't bother.

Now, I need to continue moving forward.

So far this year, I've lost between 12-15 pounds. I want to double that by the end of the summer. So my goal by the end of July is to weigh about 10 pounds less than I currently do. My goal will put me down 23.8 pounds from the beginning of the year.

Additionally, I want to increase my running pace. Ideally, I will be running 10 minute miles by the end of the year. I will settle for being able to run 3 miles in 48 minutes by the end of the summer (16:00 pace). I ran 1 mile last Wednesday in 17:32. I had my spring concert on Thursday, and went to Six Flags on Saturday with the band so I took Friday and Saturday off. Sunday night I ran 1 mile in 16:19. Monday morning I walked 34 minutes and then ran 1/2 mile in 7:29.

This confirms that I can do the pace, it's just a matter of keeping it up for 45 minutes. Endurance will come with more time on my feet.

So my plan of attack for this summer: No Strawberry Cheesequake Blizzards until I lose another 10 pounds (Booooooo). And run every day as soon as school lets out, sometimes even running and/or walking twice a day.

Carol: Deadlines, Birthdays & Carrots

Calm down. 

No, I haven't whittled or withered away into skinniness.

If only.

Instead, I went out of town and am up against a multitude of deadlines—newspaper deadline and yearbook deadlines. (You can read about that here on my other teacher blog site) as well as deadlines to turn in next year's budget and my fourth six weeks grades.  

So here is just a brief update before I have to move along…

In short, I have been B-A-D.

Let's just say there were numerous desserts involved (resulting from my birthday). In fact, a newly made Barefoot Contessa carrot cake sits on the counter even as I write. 

See what all that sugar has made me do? Why, I've turned into a diet saboteur by including the recipe link for that rather delicious concoction.

Shameless, I know. 

On the plus side—and I'm not just talkin' about dress sizes either—I have maintained some level of exercise attending my yoga classes. However, I have not kick boxed my way into the garage for a week. Instead, I have been going to work at 7 a.m. and not returning until 5:30 or 6 p.m. working on  that darn tootin' yearbook.

Oh, before I forget, out are the Pilates Torture Time classes. 

Yep, Doomsday Becky and I have sort of struck again.

Our yoga teacher has left the new exercise place that we started going to. Since Missy Chrissy Pretzel is a former yearbook editor of mine, we are following her to her brand new yoga studio which will open in April. Sadly, gladly, she will not be teaching Pilates at her Yoga studio.

Doomsday Becky and I don't believe we will jinx Missy Chrissy Pretzel since we are following her instead of just appearing on her doorstep.

So the update is… while no additional pounds were lost, none was gained either and only a bag of carrots were hurt in this endeavor. 

.