Can You Weigh Me Now? Weight Fluctuations Cause Stress

(This article was first published as Weight Fluctuations Cause Stress on Technorati.)

I almost gave upon this weight loss challenge this week. I weighed myself and almost tossed the scale shot-put like into the backyard. It showed an increase even though I ate carefully, exercised and avoided all the stuff I wanted to eat.

Hells bells, I even avoided smelling donuts (One can't be too careful, you know. No siree, Missy.) Still, the scale showed an increase. When I picked up the darn tootin' thing to toss, I set the scale down again but in a different location and tried again.

This time It showed a 1.2 pound weight loss. And just to be sure, I sort of acted like the "Can-you-year-me-now" guy in that Verizon commercial except I was holding a scale and saying, "You-can-weigh-me-now."

The same, exact weight loss showed in several locations, so I can only surmise that the initial freak-out occurred because I had set the scale a bit topsyturvy on the tile.

Weight fluctuation apparently is normal. The Internet is filled with reasons why. Blame salt, the weather, hormones--you name it; just Google it.

Still, I probably shouldn't have eaten that tasty cheeseburger and french fries in celebration today of the 1.2 pound loss. In penance, at least I walked 45 minutes and went to my fat yoga class for two hours.

My yoga instructor told me she bought me some Valentine's chocolate that said, "You're No. 1" since I was the first person to sign up when she opened  her studio almost two years ago.

But then she decided that bordered on being a diet saboteur, so she didn't bring it to give to me. Instead, we all had to do extra yoga crunches because she said she ate nachos for lunch. (Like we would notice, since she's the size of a tooth pick.)

Something tells me those yoga crunches had nothing to do with nachos and a lot to do with that chocolate I didn't get. I think I gained two pounds just thinking about it.

I wonder how much thoughts weigh?

Will Power and Outsourcing Self Control Key Factors in Keeping Diet Resolutions

(This article was first published as Will Power and Outsourcing Self Control Key Factors in Keeping Diet Resolutions on Technorati.)

Let's just say that my "Post-holiday, Back-on-the-Fat-No-More" bandwagon was rather disappointing.

OK, so it was more than rather disappointing. The  disappointment was epic. Epic because I did all the things I needed to do and was supposed to do. Things like watch calories, eat tee-tiny portions and exercise five times this week. I get tired just thinking about it.

I even went to that special Fat Yoga class I signed up for. OK, so maybe it's called something like "Yoga for Weight Loss and Weight Management," but since I'm not a big fan of euphemisms, I call it my "Fat Yoga" class to distinguish it from the other classes I attend like the "Hotter-than-the-Dickens Yoga"  (my Monday night hot yoga class,) or the "I'm-staring-at-my-toes-because-I-can't-do-that-pose Yoga" class (my Wednesday night Power Yoga class) or the "I've-fallen-and-can't-get-up yoga class" for the other Thursday night Power Yoga Plus class.

Jeepers.

Despite my best efforts, my weight remained unchanged this week, but my resolve to finish out this "Frying In My Own Fat" Weight Loss Challenge remains strong especially after reading this New York Times article.

According to the article, people fail to keep their New Year's resolutions (or any resolution for that matter) because they simply run out of willpower. Will Power apparently is a "real form of mental energy, powered by glucose in the bloodstream, which is used up as you exert self-control."

And, sadly, once Mr. Will Power is gone, well chaos ensues, and you fall off whatever fat-no-more bandwagon you were on and  become part of that 36 percent who break their resolutions by the end of January or that 56 percent who cave in by July.

The article gave a bunch of tips on how to stay the course. One was to outsource your self-control by holding yourself accountable to friends or publicly pre-committing to your resolution. (Sort of like what I've been doing here.) I've always said public humiliation is a great motivator. There are even APPs to help you with that.

So apparently I'm just going to have to try harder and watch my internal Will Power meter because I am not giving up on this fat-no-more thing.

No siree, Missy. I'm determined not to be a resolution failure statistic.

Maybe Week 2 of my Fat Yoga class will wring out a pound or two this upcoming week, and Mr. Will Power will remain strong.

How's that for a bit of outsourcing self-control? And I didn't have to go off-shore to do it either.

Weight Loss Challenge Update–Another Year, Another Ton of Food

[This article was first published as Another Year, Another Ton of Food on Technorati.}


Christmas break finally ended, and with it, my hiatus from "My Frying In My Own Fat" Weight Loss Challenge.

I suppressed an anxiety/panic attack and finally stepped on my scale that had been leaning against my closet wall mocking me.

On the count of three, can we all do the dance of joy?

No, I did not lose any weight. But I did not gain any either despite the holiday noshing which included such delightful and delicious things like cheese cake, apple pie, holiday chocolate, freshly baked rolls and second helpings. (I get giddy and dizzy just thinking about it).

Finally, I got it.

Finally, I realized that if I ate so much of this, I couldn't have any of that. Or, if I ate this, I better not touch that. Or, if I exercised here, I could eat that over there.
And since I finally had a  better understanding about portions, I knew what a normal plate should look like.

Notice, I said "normal plate," not "normal person" because I was somewhat shocked when I heard a radio report over my break that

the average woman weighs about 165 pounds.
In another news report, I also heard that the average American eats about a ton of food a year. Suddenly, those two slices of cheese cake don't seem so bad after all.
Unless of course, I start inching toward inhaling the national average of 2,700 calories a day.

All of that news was enough to make me fork over an extra $40 and sign up for a special 5-week yoga for weight loss and management class at my favorite yoga studio.

I was a bit disheartened when I discovered that there were actually some Skinny Minnies signed up for the class. And, we're not talking about regular Skinny Minnies, but those perfect Skinny Minnies who can actually do all those crazy yoga poses and always look fab-u-lous doing them while I'm either falling over or studying my toes.

Despite that little setback, Chris (my No. 1 favorite yoga instructor and studio owner) told us to come to the new class with an open mind and good attitude.

Oh, I'll come with an open mind all right.

And an attitude.

I just can't promise what kind of attitude that will be.

At this point, the yogis of the world are probably gasping and muttering mantras about letting go of judgements and competition.

Don't get me wrong, I'm willing to let go…just as soon as I let go of another 10 pounds.

Let the games begin!

Frying in My Own Fat Week Three: Yoga Brings Little Stress Release

[This article was first published as Week 3–Yoga Brings Little Stress Relief on Technorati.]

I'm not quite sure if it's the lack of sugar, sleep or just a general malaise from this record setting heat, but quite frankly this "Frying In My Own Fat" Weight Loss Challenge thing is making me just a tad bit grumpy.

OK, so maybe more than a tad bit grumpy.

My yoga buddy, Becky, and I came within a nanosecond of earning the dubious distinction of being the first people on planet to be tossed out of a yoga class. Who knew yoga could be so stressful?

OK OK OK so maybe that's a tad bit of an exaggeration, but if we had actually put our thoughts into actions, let's just say my little yoga crane hands would have poked out Mr. Gumby Guy Yoga Instructor's eyes out, and that would have been a very, very un-yogi like thing to do especially during National Yoga Month.

It's not that I don't love yoga. I do, and with it being National Yoga Month, you can actually get a free week's worth of yoga at just about any place. Which, after my little class with Mr. Gumby Guy Yoga instructor, is a great idea so you can find an instructor that matches you like my favorite teacher of all time, Chris.

I most certainly can understand why people are reticent to sign up for a gym, continue an exercise program and or try something new. You get tired of people expecting you to do things you just can't do, and then chastise you for "not pushing yourself."
Since I apparently have these anger issues, for a fleeting instant, I almost succumbed to one of those slick advertisements and signed up for a fitness boot camp specials from Groupon.

Almost.

I thought maybe, just maybe, it would help jump start me a bit more after that crème brulee fiasco of last week.

Even though those boot camp sites claim their programs are for people of all ages and skill levels, well, just look at their camp videos. I didn't see one person who looked like me… old…fat…grumpy…tired…nonrunner…

I bet they have an entire army of Mean Mr. Gumby Guys.

Except these guys probably yell at you.

Instead, I purchased a nice little Groupon facial.

I figured I deserved a little stress reduction and a little reward. I lost two pounds this week, and I didn't poke anyone's eye out.

Carol: Pink Me Out

[In honor of the lack of the Chubby Brits who failed to rise up to the occasion and participate in this little fitness challenge, here's Yo Mum's So Fat Joke #8… "Your mum's so fat that even God couldn't lift her spirts…"] 

Here's a brief update on my progress… I continue to do yoga attending classes at least three times a week. Although I am getting better at it, I still fall over, can't grab my ankles for the bow pose,  and my revolved triangle pose doesn't look anything like this picture.

Such is my life. I read a post  about losing weight that had a gajillion retweets. I don't know what all the fuss was about. It  basically covered what we all know (exercise, cut calories by 25 percent and eat some fish oil). OK, so maybe, I didn't know about the fish oil thing, but I seriously doubt that's going to drop a ton of pounds.

Instead, I rather preferred the chocolate study story. You can read about my take on that here.

But now I have rambled so let me get back on task. I decided I needed an extra push. You know, to sort of jump start my engines. So-o-o-o-o-o-o I signed up for the Susan G. Komen 3-day for the Cure 60 mile walk. It's a great cause and I might even lose a few pounds along the way.

I need sponsors though. I have to raise $2,300 in order to be able to participate in the November walk. So if you could find it in your heart to make a donation, please go to www.the3day.org, click on "Donate," select “search for a team” and then input my team name, Pink Me Out.) 

I'll keep you posted on how my training and donations are going.

 

Loser, Yoga & My Inner Me

[In honor of the lack of Chubby Brits who failed to rise up to the occasion and participate in this little fitness challenge, here's Yo Mum's So Fat Joke #7…

"Your mums so fat that when she steps on the scales it says one at a time please!"]

OK, so I'm a loser—and not in the poundage category either. I noticed on the nifty little computer calendar that it's been almost a month since my last entry.

Jeez Louise, that's hardly a way to encourage my cyberbuddy Joel in his weight loss endeavor.  Since 30 days have lapsed since my last post, well  I hardly know where to begin. So we'll just jump right in there and try our best to recap 30 days of negligence, but I’ve gotta warn you, it ain't pretty.

•And then there were five (another exercise class bites the dust)…

It's not our fault. No really. You can't blame Doomsday Becky and me for the discontinuation of our yoga classes at our most recent exercise location. Missy Chrissy Pretzel decided she wanted her own place and opened up her very own yoga studio. Doomsday Becky and I figured that we can't jinx Missy Chrissy Pretzel because we are following her over there, not discovering her there. I did volunteer not to follow Missy Chrissy Pretzel to her new place if she was worried. (I didn't have the heart to tell her about those bad karma exercise gods. I pretty sure all those closing doors are retribution for all those times I called that one girl balloon butt in college.) Instead, I opened up the ol' checkbook, paid for the entire year and hoped that would buy us all some good karma.

•Does that yearbook make me look fat?  

Trying to get the yearbook finished these past 30 days has significantly hurt my exercise program. I quit going out to the garage to smack my punching bag and instead bebopped my way to work at 7 a.m. The good news is after tomorrow all those pages are in and I can resume my morning kickboxing program. As an added bonus, the weather is warm and the garage no longer freezing. Pretty soon I can complain about the heat instead.

•Yoga & Me & Eagle Poses

I'm still attending yoga classes at least twice a week. I'm planning to try and go three to four times a week since I paid for a year's worth of unlimited yoga sessions. I still fall over most of the time. At least at the new studio, there aren't any mirrors, so I don't have a visual image of how goofy I actually look. Missy Chrissy Pretzel says to look inside ourselves for our image. Too bad my inner me image isn't my outside image because my inner me is a mini-me… tall, thin and young, not short, fat Rubenesque and old. Plus, my inside image has that eagle standing tall, instead of looking like that tipsy, goofy eagle falling off a cliff.

•Goals & Deadlines

I went back and took another peek at the goals I set for myself back in January, and I must say that was a pretty depressing jaunt down memory lane.

Goal #1 was to lose 30 pounds by the end of May. Well, I guess we can mark that one as a big, fat failure. I arrived at the number three part OK. Now, all I have to do is get a zero after that three instead of before it. Fear not. I will not give up. Maybe we'll shoot for 10 pounds instead. (Unless, of course, someone wants to volunteer hiring me a personal trainer, chef, nutritionist, and, let's throw in a plastic surgeon as well.)

Goal #2 was to be able to do the Eagle Pose by the end of May. Hmmmmm. Now, I am better at it, but whether it will meet Missy Chrissy Pretzel's professional OK, well, let's just say I better keep practicing.

Well, that's about all the updating I'm going to do, but before I go I do have to admit that I had to eat eight of those tasty mini Cadbury Easter eggs to take the sting off the trauma of writing this post.

 

Carol: Deadlines, Birthdays & Carrots

Calm down. 

No, I haven't whittled or withered away into skinniness.

If only.

Instead, I went out of town and am up against a multitude of deadlines—newspaper deadline and yearbook deadlines. (You can read about that here on my other teacher blog site) as well as deadlines to turn in next year's budget and my fourth six weeks grades.  

So here is just a brief update before I have to move along…

In short, I have been B-A-D.

Let's just say there were numerous desserts involved (resulting from my birthday). In fact, a newly made Barefoot Contessa carrot cake sits on the counter even as I write. 

See what all that sugar has made me do? Why, I've turned into a diet saboteur by including the recipe link for that rather delicious concoction.

Shameless, I know. 

On the plus side—and I'm not just talkin' about dress sizes either—I have maintained some level of exercise attending my yoga classes. However, I have not kick boxed my way into the garage for a week. Instead, I have been going to work at 7 a.m. and not returning until 5:30 or 6 p.m. working on  that darn tootin' yearbook.

Oh, before I forget, out are the Pilates Torture Time classes. 

Yep, Doomsday Becky and I have sort of struck again.

Our yoga teacher has left the new exercise place that we started going to. Since Missy Chrissy Pretzel is a former yearbook editor of mine, we are following her to her brand new yoga studio which will open in April. Sadly, gladly, she will not be teaching Pilates at her Yoga studio.

Doomsday Becky and I don't believe we will jinx Missy Chrissy Pretzel since we are following her instead of just appearing on her doorstep.

So the update is… while no additional pounds were lost, none was gained either and only a bag of carrots were hurt in this endeavor. 

.

Carol: Can A Cat Cut Calories?

In honor of the lack of Chubby Brits who failed to rise up to the occasion and participate in this little fitness challenge, here's Yo Mum's So Fat Joke #6…"Shamu threw a Jenny Craig brochure at her at the water park."

Now for a quick update…  

Thursday… Yoga was cancelled because of the snow.

Friday… Snow Day! But I still managed take the dogs out and walked about two miles.

Saturday & Sunday… Walked two miles each day.

Monday… 

• Garage. Freezing. Scared the bejeebers out of not just one cat but two. Kickboxed.   
• No Pilates Torture Time class for me, so I didn't have to face to the Chippers. I had promised one of my students that I would attend his soccer game tonight. With temperatures in the 30s and a nippy wind blowing about, I would have preferred an evening drawing circles with my toes. I'm sure whatever calories I  burned trying to stay alive were countered by the mass quantities of hot chocolate I drank to help stay warm.

Tuesday…  

• Garage. Freezing. This time the cats met me on the front porch. Ally Cat followed me into the garage demanding to be held. Wondered if I got an extra calorie burn by holding the cat while doing my exercise pre-warm up.
• Had to let the cat go when it was time to punch. 
• Yoga tonight. 

Oh yeah, I guess I need to confess that I ate some Valentine's Day Whoppers.

BMI, Floating Fatso & Goals

Ok, so I bopped into the nurse's office for my little official  weigh in, BMI check, and quite frankly, was aghast.

Let‘s just put it this way. If I were on the Titanic when it sank, well, my dears, I would still be floating. Forget the Unsinkable Molly Brown. How about the Forever Floating Fatso? OK, so I have berated myself long enough.

Here’s my recap for the last week… Went to Yoga on Tuesday & Thursday. Did the 5:30 a.m. frosty kickboxing garage workout thing on Wednesday and Friday. Scooped some poop at the animal shelter this morning (figure that’s got to count for some calorie burning).

Managed to NOT eat any emergency chocolate even though Friday was a particularly challenging day at work.

Now, Joel wanted for me to list some goals. Sheesh! He’s such a band director, ordering this, organizing that, blah, blah, blah. But I’ll humor him. Drum roll pah-leese…

My Two Goals…

Goal No. 1…Lose 30 pounds by the end of May
Goal No. 2…Be able to do the Garuda-asana - The Eagle Pose by the end of May.

Now, before you start tsk, tsk tsking about that second one, let me assure you that since I  fall over every time I attempt that pose, I will probably achieve Goal No. 1 before that Eagle thing ever happens.

Of course, I was just a smidge timid about putting Goal No. 2 down because if my yoga instructor reads this, she will decide it's her mission in life for me to achieve this goal. I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of time falling over.

Carol: Setback, S'mores & Jack the diet saboteur

A setback.

At the risk of joining the ranks of those who "pointlessly babble" on twitter about eating sandwiches, let me just say it…

I ate a s'more last night

There you have it. It was cold. Fired up the fire place. Ate a s'more.

Only a small one,  but I guess small counts.

Oh, and 2 marshmallows.

Then I gave Jack a marshmallow, too, just so I wouldn't feel quilty.

He loves marshmallows and gingersnaps. I wish I could blame him for this lapse. He's such a diet saboteur.

But, well, he's Jack.

And, he's my dog.

Oh, and get ready, it's yoga tonight.

(And note to Joel… Yes, I will come up with some specific goals and will post them tomorrow. I also will go to the nurse for the my "weight in and fat thingy.")

Carol’s Day

 5 a.m.–

• Crawled out of bed. 
• Sore from that cardio-yoga mentioned in yesterday’s post. 
• Cursed yoga teacher.
• Drank coffee
• Cursed yoga teacher.
• Drank coffee
• Cursed yoga teacher.
• Drank coffee
• Cursed yoga teacher.

5:30 a.m.–

• Went in freezing garage for my kickboxing workout
• Scared the bejeebers out of the cat
• Cursed the yoga teacher
• Pretended to smack the daylights out of all the Ninnyhammers in my world
  

6 a.m.–

• Ended workout with yoga stretches
• Became one with the universe
• Quit cursing yoga teacher
• Went inside to eat breakfast and get ready for work and my meeting with my yearbook rep

6:30 a.m.–

• Decided maybe we should challenge my friends across the pond to this teacher fitness challenge.
  

7:30 a.m.–

• Got to school
• Cursed all that is yearbook
• Cursed all that is yearbook
• Cursed all that is yearbook…
  

Cardio Yoga & My Avatar

Day 2–Well, I’m glad a little bit of shame worked for Joel. What I didn’t figure though was that shame is a double-edged sword. This bloggeroo challenge thing kept my paws out of the Emergency Chocolate drawer today and away from those gingersnaps this evening.

I also decided that tomorrow I would bebop down to the nurse’s office for my official weigh in and fat checker. Maybe I’ll even come up with some goals like Joel to keep me on track.

After reading Joel’s first post on our blog challenge, I’m really, really glad I coerced cajoled him to to do this. Tonight I announced to my yoga class about my new mission. My yoga teacher, who in a twisted bit of fate is one of my former yearbook editors from a gazillion years ago, got a tad bit too enthusiastic about all of this and decided that we needed to do some cardio yoga.

Who knew there was such a thing? My glutes certainly didn’t. When all was said and done, my cobra pose looked more like an inch worm, my high mountain looked more like an ant hill and my downward facing dog resembled road kill.

Tomorrow while Joel wrestles with his Wii, I will be in my cold garage smacking my kickboxing bag. At 5:30 in the morning.

And I don’t even get to have one of those cute little Wii guys. My student-turned-yoga teacher-Chris said I could come over to her house, and she would make me a Wii guy with her Wii.

But then I’d probably have to do some sort of extra special cardio yoga. I politely declined. Instead, I’m going to use my little stick figure guy from my book as my I’m-too-poor-to-have-a-Wii-guy avatar.

Hey, my stick figure guy may not be as cute as those Wii guys, but my guy is already skinny.